Iris
by Asha Pasha
Summary: Oneshot. Based on Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. Harry reaches his limit. His relationship with Draco, his prying friends and his impending doom becomes too much to handle. Warning: selfmutilation and slash.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Slash and self-mutilation. Don't like, don't read.

Currently un-edited. To my faithful friend and unofficial beta Razi-Thanatos I know you wanted to beta this and you'll get your chance but I just couldn't wait. (sheepish grin)

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**Iris**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

Emerald and Silver clashed as the two boys stared at each other across the great hall, lust, lost, agony and sorrow reflected in their eyes. Unable to stare any longer, Draco looked away, deep pain evident on his usually stoic face. Harry longed to kiss those petal soft, pouty lips and feel those soft and skillful hands roam his body. At the moment he didn't care that their love was forbidden, he didn't care that Voldemort could summon Draco at any minute, he just plain didn't care.

Draco was his and he wanted him no matter what. Wanted to hear him moan his name, wanted to feel his nails digging into his hips as Draco pounded into him. And as if sensing Harry's thought, Draco looked up, a look of shock and confusion upon his face. Staring once more into silver eyes overflowing with emotions, Harry realized that he couldn't take much more of this torture and he ran, away from the confused student body, away from his worried friends and away from the blonde Adonis that haunted his every waking moment.

_And all I can taste is this moment _

_And all I can breathe is your life _

_Cause sooner or later it's over _

_I just don't want to miss you tonight _

Harry ran through the corridors not caring where he was headed and pretty soon found himself on the Quidditch pitch, where he and Draco had shared their first kiss. Sobbing loudly, Harry leant against the goal post for support as his knees gave out. There was just no end to this torture. Absorbed in the agony he was going through, he never heard the footsteps approaching until the person stood right behind him.

"Harry?" The voice deep and filled with concern reached Harry's ears, seemingly breaking some spell which had bound him to the spot.

Jumping up and turning to face Draco, Harry tried to take a step back only to find his back pressed against the goal post.

"What are you doing here Draco?" Even to his own ears Harry sounded weak and very much unlike the savior he's suppose to be.

Draco ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous manner. Sighing he stepped forward and took Harry's hands in his own.

"Because I'm worried…and because I love you."

Harry's breath caught in his throat. This was the first time Draco had ever said it. Harry was suddenly reminded of what he was risking when Draco's sleeve pushed up and his dark mark became visible, but Harry was once again distracted when Draco was suddenly too close. He could feel Draco's breath upon his lips and he could practically taste the vanilla and cinnamon taste that was distinctly Draco.

"My room tonight?" Draco's voice was filled with lust but Harry could hear the underlying desperation and concern.

"I…I can't." Harry felt his heart clench painfully as he uttered those words, almost too softly for Draco to hear, yet he did.

"I don't think I could survive another night without you."

Harry stared at Draco wanting so much to kiss him and be taken right there and then on the Quidditch pitch but as he leaned in and their lips lightly brushed for the first time in weeks a shrill voice called out his name.

Tearing apart Harry and Draco watched Hermione and Ron running towards them. With numbness that only came with pureblooded teachings, Draco watched Hermione and Ron drag his love away; all the while shooting him dirty looks.

_And I don't want the world to see me _

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand _

_When everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am _

Harry moaned and arched off the bed as Draco thrusted into him hard and fast. Throwing his head back in pleasure, Harry caught sight of the room they were in. The remains of the once loved Astronomy tower lay all around them as a constant reminder of the war they were in. Harry was roughly drawn in for a brutal kiss which made him worried and then he caught sight of the vivid dark mark on Draco's arm. Harry froze when he realized that this meant Draco was being summoned by Voldemort but it didn't seem as if Draco was bothered by this, as he roughly pinched one of Harry's nipples making him moan.

Moving his mouth to Harry's neck he bit him hard and expertly placed Harry's ankles over his shoulder allowing him to go deeper. Knowing neither of them would last long in this position Draco picked up the speed, pulling out almost all the way and slamming back into Harry harder loving the sounds his love was making. Pumping Harry's erection in time to his thrusting it wasn't long before Harry came, Draco following soon after.

"DRACO!!"

"HARRY!!"

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies _

_When everything feels like the movies _

_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive _

Harry stepped into the Gryffindor common room hoping it was empty but this time he had no such luck. The moment she caught sight of him, Hermione opened her mouth to recite her no doubt planned lecture.

"I'm not in the mood." And it was true. He treasured the stolen moments he had with Draco but it always left him feeling depressed. Just the fact that they had always have to sneak around to be together and even after hot, wild and passionate sex, he couldn't sleep beside **his **Draco.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Harold James Potter! I'm sick and tired of your attitude!" Her eyes softened and her face freely expressed her hurt. "What happened to you? To us? You were never like this."

He didn't mean to, he knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself. "What the fuck are you talking about?! You never fucking knew me! I was just some pathetic little boy who you believed hung onto your every word and who could get you all the fame you wanted! You and Ron never knew me…not like he does." Towards the end Harry's voice had grown softer until it was barely a whisper.

Hermione looked shocked that Harry would talk to her that way and say such things. Cursing himself for saying so much, Harry ran up to the boys dormitory and searching for something under his bed, he grabbed it and holding it to his chest like a precious bundle, he locked himself in the bathroom. All of this couldn't be happening, it was all too unbelievable. Trying to hold back the tears he was sure were coming he was almost shocked to find himself numb to everything that had happened. He had royally fucked up the image he'd been painting ever since he arrived at Hogwarts.

Opening his hand he stared blankly at the knife he'd come to depend upon. Holding it almost lovingly, he pressed it against his wrist and dragged it across watching with morbid fascination as what seemed a crimson river flowed down his arm and dripped on the white tiles. He stared at the puddle of the blood forming at his feet. With a pang he realized that he hadn't even felt that at all. Curling into a ball, Harry rocked himself wishing desperately for Draco to be there.

_And I don't want the world to see me _

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand _

_When everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am _

_And I don't want the world to see me _

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand _

_When everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am_

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**A.N. No I haven't given up on any of my stories I'm still working on them but I'm so in love with Iris I just had to write a songfic hehehe. I would have made it more graphic but I think I freaked out my boyfriend enough already. By the way the Stardust Dreamers are no more so I'll be changing my name pretty soon. Gosh am I tired…school's horrid…I'm suppose to be working on a project but I decided to post this instead so I hope you enjoyed it! And if anyone wants me to do a sequel speak up!!**

**P.S. I know Draco said his rooms and then they ended up in the Astronomy tower but Draco's suggestion was just that…a suggestion.**


	2. IMPORTANT!

SEQUEL IS NOW UP!!!!!!!!!...ENJOY AND THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO STOOD BY ME.


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